You could say it started like any other young love in high school. Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love with girl. Boy dates girl. Boy loses girl.
I guess it's the commonplace that is the most tragic.

I was - am - a senior in high school. I met a girl with a sparkling personality ... to her the world wasn't a bitter place. She loved art and anything beautiful. She represents everything I wish I was.

She still does.

We were happy in each other's arms until I inadvertently hurt her. I loved her and would do anything to protect her, but in the end the lethal blow came from me. That's when she didn't want to risk being hurt again. We haven't thought of each other romantically since.

Well, I still do. So I guess that's a lie.

Today she's the best friend I've ever had. We can talk to each other about anything and everything. She said that there's no one she's ever been closer to.

I assume that's why it came as such a shock when she asked me how I'd feel if she dated another guy. I told her how I felt somehow betrayed, but that I was fine with it. What else could I do?

I suppose I was somehow hoping for a reprieve. I thought I loved her for all the right reasons so I would be delivered to a world that was a beautiful place - the place where she resided.

That hasn't happened yet. I doubt it ever will.

I'm trying not to mind, though. Friendship lasts longer than a failed relationship at this age. We're still each other's closest friends.

But I can't help but feel every ounce of jealousy and hatred at myself when she talks about him or when she's doing something with him.

To her, love is spontaneous. To me, I know why I did and still do love her. And we're best friends, something harder earned and more permanent.

I should be happy, shouldn't I?